August 9, 2009- Spring Cleaning: After living at my site for almost a year I finally acquired a table. Deja, from Group 5, left me her table and having it has changed my life! As a welcome to the new-to-me table, I decided to spring clean my hut. I rearranged the book shelf, and now have a ‘library’ area. I rearranged the mini stove, fridge and carts, and now have a galley ‘kitchen and dining area’. I rearranged my ‘bathroom/closet’, which helped me take my suitcase-turned-dresser off the cement floor. I swept then mopped the floor. I purged unused papers. And I dusted fallen wall off surfaces. Now I sit at my table to eat. I can do school work at the table. I can put my laptop on my table instead of on a box on the floor to watch movies, which makes viewing eye level and much more enjoyable. I think I’m in heaven! And I feel rich.
The weather is following suit. Nights are less cold. Days are gradually warming. The sun is rising earlier and slowly setting later and later, which makes me happy because night isn’t so long. The landscape is a juxtaposition of colors and cyclical changes. The evergreens are mingling among coppery red deciduous trees (not all deciduous trees here completely loose their leaves). Greens sprouts of grass are shooting up through tufts of brown. Frogs began croaking last week along both rivers that embrace my community.
A support group formed at my clinic a few weeks ago. It’s led by an expert client trained by MSF (Doctors w/out Borders) in supporting people living with HIV who take ARV’s (anti-retrovirals). Wanting to help with this group, I offered my services to the expert client. Since most of the group’s English is limited, I decided leading exercises after their meeting would be my contribution. They love it. One of the older ladies, a traditional dancer, really gets into the side-stepping. She shakes her hips, almost putting me to shame. Even the oldest Mkhulu (a.k.a. grandfather/old man) stands up to move. On the first day, I told them whatever movement they were able to do is okay. I explained that any movement they do that gets blood and oxygen flowing to the muscles is healthier than no movement. Last week I was sick, but I stopped by the clinic to greet the nurses and ask the expert client to lead exercises. She was apprehensive. I tried to quell her fears by saying she could copy what I did, something simple like raising arms overhead several times and slowing lowering them or marching in place. She promised to try.
Today she informed me that she led the group in several of the exercises I taught her. She was proud that she remembered. I suddenly had an awe moment. This was my first glimpse of sustainable development work in action in my community! Since my arrival, I’ve been thinking sustainable work was something of a myth or at best rarely attainable and only in extreme circumstances. I am proved wrong by my own actions! I taught someone something they remembered, and they felt motivated and confident enough to share with others. I did something sustainable! One small step for Mahlalini. One giant leap for me and my faith in what I’m doing here. Making true connections by forging relationships with others has always been part of my philosophy, and I am more acutely aware than ever that I cannot be an occupant of this earth without being an active participant. I cannot just exist, I must dynamically be.
August 8 - 31, 2009- Painting a Preschool: Justine, Jaclyn and I met the couple, Michelle and Peter McCubbin, who run Pasture Valley Children’s Home on the edge of Nhlangano through Make Simelane. We sometimes stay with Make when we’re in town for the youth support group; she works at NATICC—an AIDS testing and counseling center—where Michelle is on the Board of Directors. A completely self-sustaining orphanage, the McCubbin’s grow fruits and vegetables, operate a tree nursery, and raise dairy cows and pigs, allowing the 20 children who reside at Pasture Valley home-grown foods each day. The older children go to school nearby while the preschool-aged children are taught at a preschool on site. Two Swazi mothers live between two houses, each caring for half the children; they honor traditional Swazi living while teaching the children how to cook, clean, wash clothes and play together. The children range in age from two months to 16 years. Considering the trauma each child brings, living in this new home is life-saving for them. As terrible as it is to separate them from family, sometimes a home away from biological family is better for their well-being than being in an unhealthy environment. And this new family wants them.
Eager to help, we offered out services with whatever needed to be done. Michelle needed the inside of the preschool painted. We set to painting the 3 main walls and the storage cabinet doors. One wall was dedicated to the alphabet and an object associated with each letter. The second wall turned into an apple tree with numbers 1 – 20 painted on each apple. The other wall had shapes around the window. On the cabinet doors we created flowers. We finished the room with grass growing up out of the floor. The children gladly helped us each time we came to paint by dancing with us to music, handing us paint brushes, posing in pictures and eating our snacks. We frequently took breaks to play with them, getting to know names and personalities.
Wanting to know their stories, Michelle told us heart-wrenching stories about how some children came to live at Pasture Valley. One child, who just celebrated his sixth birthday, looks like he’s two. His mother, too sick to work, barely had enough food to feed him much less herself. Once Michelle was alerted to the situation she took him to the hospital where he spent several weeks recuperating due to severe dehydration and malnutrition. While in the hospital his mother died, and Michelle was allowed to take him to Pasture Valley. He’s the sweetest boy; smart, very polite and always with a smile on his face. I want to take him with me every time I go. Him, and a little girl who’s name means beautiful, whose mother was too young to care for her; she told Michelle the child was a mistake which made Michelle livid. The girl didn’t smile for a long time, nor did she talk, only staring listlessly when someone talked her. The first day we met her, my heart went to her immediately and I tried to engage her as much as possible, talking directly to her, smiling, looking her in the eye. When we went back two weeks later, she was beginning to smile and interact with other children but she was still guarded. She became my shadow, though; each time I left the room she followed me. The last time we were there, she was laughing and playing with the other children. She let me tickle her, hold her, and play with her. She’s beginning to allow herself to be a child, to have fun, to open up. There are two other darling girls that also tug at my heart strings. I have to say I’ve honestly considered adoption. One things for sure; I plan to spend more time at Pasture Valley, especially after the new year since I won’t be teaching in the new term. I feel working there would definitely be sustainable, but more importantly beneficial to those wonderful little persons and personally rewarding.
August 11, 2009- Bus Rides Home: I got on the 2 o’clock bus, which primarily transports elementary students home. It gets crowded, really quickly, with 30 + children whirring around, not to mention the throng of adults heading back home with their weekly supplies and things to sell. The children are consistently a buzz of activity, and I frequently watch them since they are entertaining; although, admittedly, I try to avoid this bus. I generally get asked for sweets or money and/or get laughed at by one child which leads to all the children in the vicinity laughing at me. Being laughed at is my own fault, in all honesty; I tend to smile at them a lot, make funny faces, wave, stare or try to translate what they are saying, which I don’t consider eaves dropping since they usually talk too quickly for me to make out more than a word or two. Today a primary school girl was knitting a scarf for school. I learned from my sisi knitting is taught in Home Economics class, along with how to cook, how to wash clothes and how to clean the homestead. My sisi is lucky enough to use Make’s knitting needles. The girl on the bus was knitting with a plastic sucker handle and the ink cartridge from a disposable pen. The stitches were small, but she was making a scarf, and it was taking shape quite nicely. She seemed very proud of herself, and kept checking to make sure I continued to watch her so I gave into her vanity and told her the scarf was buhle, beautiful.
The week before, I barely caught my half-past three bus. I struggled to get on the first step with 3 bags, a yoga bag and my purse; Jaclyn, Justine and I joke that we are really pack mules. I try to travel lighter and lighter each time I go to Mbabane but inevitably I bring something back from the office and load down the bus. Today I wasn’t the only thing loading the bus down. The official capacity for most standard-sized buses (think big yellow school bus) in Swaziland is 65 seated and 18 standing. I stood on the first step, barely inside the door, for the first 5 minutes until the bus conductor shifted enough children to allow me to step up to the landing. There were at least 100 people on bus. The PC Safety and Security Officer’s warning about the link between overcrowded buses and high accident rates briefly ran through my head, and I should have taken the next bus. But it wouldn’t come for another hour and that would get me home at 5:30. I just wanted to be home, and before dark. So I stood on the landing, with my bags wondering how to balance myself against the lurching starts and stops of the bus. The bus conductor, noticing my inability to hold onto the railing, grabbed my bags and stowed them near the driver and on the dash board. I stood for the better part of an hour holding onto one bag and my purse, having to exit each time the bus stopped to let patrons off. A seat finally opened on the last 10 minutes of the ride, and I gladly took it since my arms and legs were tired of bracing. I’ve been on buses that crowded before but I’ve always gotten on soon enough that I had a seat, and inevitably felt pity for the smooched people in the aisle.
My transportation woes are much improved from those riding public transport in Mocambique. Bus conductors will force 3 times the recommended limit of people onto a khombi (passenger van). People are literally hanging out the windows and sitting three-deep with the side door wide open because it cannot be closed.
It makes me think about the short time I took public transport in the States while going to graduate school. People are bound to the bus’ schedule but I found it enjoyable because I didn’t have to worry about traffic or putting petrol in my car and I could read or study along the way. But I remember people passing along their sympathy to me when they heard I rode the bus. I remember not understanding those comments. I realize, at the time, most people who took the bus were low-income people, students, or elderly persons. I never believed myself below taking the bus, but I’m sure that is why I received sympathy. In Swaziland, throughout Africa and in most developing countries, public transport is the only option, and sadly, not true, for some who walk great distances to get to a clinic or buy groceries. Rarely do people find they have the luxury of owning a car much less the funds to fill it with petrol. Learning to drive for most women here is a grand extravagance, and transpires only because the husband can afford driving school or has the time to teach his wife; few single women learn to drive. Then there’s insurance, licensing, maintenance, oil changes, and border crossing fees to consider.
Never once did I think that learning to drive was not an option for me; I always knew someone would teach me regardless, and gender never entered into it. There was no question about going to college. I think I knew at a young age it was a non-negotiable, which was fine with me because I wanted to go to college. I’m discovering how many things I, and so many others, take for granted every single day. And really, what a luxurious problem to be able to take things for granted. I make decisions and come to things on my own terms, and yet I take it for granted because I often forget how many wonderful things I really do have and how lucky I am to have the station I do.
So I try to appreciate every bus ride home, grateful for the scenery I pass, for the time to read the paper or a letter, interaction with neighbors, peek-a-boo with children, or the carefree lifestyle I’ve begun to embrace as normal; but if for nothing else then for the simple gratitude for what I’ve been given by the universe. Sometimes all the awakening I need is a simple 45-minute bus ride home.
August 12, 2009- The Trainees Come for a Visit: I met two Group 7 volunteers in Nhlangano during their OJT (on-the-job training). The Morgan’s are a married couple from Missouri, and they were eager to learn about their new shopping town. We covered a great deal of the town including the best place to buy a bed, furniture stores, the hardware store, the paint store, the grocery store, the internet café, library, police station, local Ministry offices, NERCHA, and the post office. I also pointed out the really important things: cleanest bathroom in town- KFC—coincidently KFC also plays music videos and has ice cream and moderately tasty chicken; the best chicken place in town- Richfield’s Butchery, which also has great chips and biryani, plus you get to see the butchers in action…if you’re lucky they carry a whole hog or two through the restaurant to the butcher block; the best ice cream bars and moderately clean restrooms- Engen gas station near Builders; the best fresh chips (fries) and fat cakes- kiosk behind shopping mall owned and operated by 2 really friendly Pakistani guys who cook the chips a little longer for PCV’s because they know we like our chips crispy; freshest fruits and veggies: the lower and upper boMake markets…sometimes the upper market sells live chickens and it’s near the public restrooms; and the best bran muffins- Builder’s Supermarket, which also sells grocery items in bulk. (Yes, it is all about getting good food!) They rode back with me to my site, and I introduced them to the clinic staff, my boMake marketers, and my exercise club. They helped me make no-bake cookies with my exercise club; the club has been begging me to teach them since I’d brought them each a cookie the week before. I made them pizza for supper, which they were really excited to eat since they hadn’t had it since before them left America. Both are grand story tellers; the husband especially. He reminds me of a combination of my father and 2 of my uncles—they love to tell a story, pull your leg and make you laugh. They regaled me with stories of their children, their work, and how they met. It was a wonderful evening, and I loved having company, as well as people happy to share a meal. They will be a great addition to the Shiselweni family. Jaclyn believes they were automatically a great couple; any man who wears suspenders with a Garfield shirt and any wife who still chooses to be seen with her husband wearing suspenders with a Garfield shirt have to be cool.
August 18, 2009- Hickory-Dickory Dock, A Mouse Ran Up…..: Something ran in front of my door Sunday morning. Only half paying attention, I thought it was a baby chick and paid it no mind. About 30 minutes later, nature called, and on my way out the door something ran over my foot. It was a baby rat. I screamed. Luckily the church-goers had already passed by on their way to church. No one witnessed my freak-out. The rat ran up the hill toward the rondoval, around the corner of the hut and then out of site. I stood there for a moment, collecting myself. I could still feel his feet on my foot. Gross!
Today Make greeted me by saying she had trapped something in the 100 gallon rain barrel. She was drowning them. She was talking so excitedly about capturing 20, it took a few minutes to figure out she was talking about rats. She said she was determined to kill all the rats on the homestead because they were getting into her corn bin. She parted me by saying I must take a look before going to the clinic. She counted 20 and I must count them. Only half believing her method of disposal and the high trespasser count, I asked my bhuti if there were rats in the barrel. He said there were 20 rats in the barrel, drowning in boiling water. I peeked in enough to see two; one struggling to swim, the other succumbed to his demise. I’m assuming the one I saw on Sunday was among the non-survivors because I don’t want to think about more than 20 rats living on the homestead. I’m hoping the rest got the message about Make’s mass execution, packed their bags and vacated the premises.
August 19, 2009- Delivering First Aid Kits: World Vision finally came through with four first aid kits for my NCP’s (Neighborhood Care Points). With a little help from an anonymous donor, I was able to buy more first aid supplies to add to the basic kits. Emily Thebo, a nurse from my clinic, and I visited the Mhlaba NCP today. I explained the contents of the kits and how to use each item; Emily translated what I said into siSwati, as well as elaborating each item’s use. I also assessed other needs of this particular NCP. They have been in operation for a year; MicroProjects helped them build the structure. However they have not been able to secure funding from their inter-council. Every chiefdom within the inkhunhla (group of chiefdoms) has an inter-council working to identify and solve problems in each community within that particular chiefdom. They are supposed to give aid to NCP’s. I’m not sure where the breakdown happened, so the boMake at this NCP were asking me for help with incoming generating projects, food, clothes, shoes, toys and teaching materials. I gave them ideas for food—start a garden to supplement the rations they receive —and for income generating projects—ask the Rural Development Association to teach them to make Vaseline. I told them to talk to their inter-council again since they are the ones responsible for supplying money for these kinds of projects. Emily and I offered to put a box at the clinic asking people to drop off unwanted items like clothes, shoes and toys. I also told them to ask for donations from their church members. I began looking for basic teaching materials through the Peace Corps office’s resources. My sister, Sharon, brought me kindergarten-level flash cards, and I will give each NCP a set. So far, no one has dropped off unwanted items at the clinic but it’s a new concept so I’m trying to be patient. If all else fails, I can apply for funds from Peace Corps. A new funding source has opened up that is specifically for aiding NCP’s. I’d rather the communities pulled together and helped each other because I won’t be here forever and I don’t want to add to the dependency they have on outside aid organizations.
August 24, 2009- Sharing Orange Marmalade: The really good jams in the store are too expensive for me to buy, and even if I had the extra money, I can only purchase them in Mbabane. So I made orange marmalade over the weekend. Having made extra entirely on accident, I shared a jar with Make. She asked me why I was sharing with her; I said because I wanted to. She thanked me profusely, kissing my hand, and uttering comments about how happy her daughter makes her. Then she said she was going to buy me a baboon to have for my very own; I could ride it anytime I wanted, and no one else would be able to ride it. A baboon?! I have no idea what that means or the implications of riding a baboon. I’m going to assume that it’s a grand gesture, and leave it at that.
August 28, 2009- 1 year in my hut: A year ago today I arrived at my permanent site with my belongings to an empty hut and an eerily silent homestead. I remember my abhorrence at the state of filth and amount of bugs around my room. Now only the really large spiders bother me. I remember after cleaning up what I could with a broom, I rolled out my yoga mat and took a nap, feeling unable to do much else. I still love naps, and take them when I can but not because I feel unable to do anything else. I just enjoy while I can. I remember making a list of all the things I thought I needed to establish my home. Now I try to get by on as little as possible. It’s quite possible, simply easy to accomplish and very satisfying.
I reread my blog entry from last year at this time; I was wondering what I’d gotten myself into, and why I came. I questioned myself for nine months. Clarity seems only to come after seeking patience and being open to receive the messages one needs to hear. I have a better understanding of why I came, even though some days it doesn’t make sense, and some days I feel I came for the wrong reasons. What I know for sure is that I’m glad I came. No regrets. I can honestly say I am happy, and I’ve been happy for several months. Yes, there are frustrations, and road blocks, and things that just do not make sense. And at times, I still feel like I’m on a rollercoaster of emotions for days on end. But I can only control my own actions, thoughts, and feelings. So I am the one who decides when to be happy. And I’ve decided it’s better to be happy with who I am today, and to do what I can with each day, whatever that may be. It’s better than the alternative.
The new volunteers took to their permanent sites today. There are seven Group 7’s in the Shiselweni region. Amen! We needed more bodies down south.
August 31, 2009- Umhlanga Dance: About half my group attended the Umhlanga or Reed Dance festival, an annual event held to honor coming-of-age maidens. In the eight-day ceremony, girls cut reeds and present them to the Queen Mother who uses the reeds to reinforce her traditional homestead; in recent times, it’s done more to honor ceremony. Only childless, unmarried, chaste girls may take part. The aims of the ceremony are to preserve girls’ chastity, provide tribute labor for the Queen Mother, and produce solidarity by working together. After presenting the reeds, the girls dance for two day. Traditionally, during the second day of dancing, the King chooses a wife among the dancers but he has not taken a wife since 2006. There was quite a bit on controversy after he took his wife in 2006. Apparently, the year before he put a law into place making it illegal for any man to take a wife under the age of 18. He temporarily lifted the law in order to take his wife in 2006; she was 16 at the time. Then he reinstated the law. Needless to say, there were many angry people, and his actions caught the attention of many overseas officials and newspapers.
My sisi, Zandele danced for the first time at the Royal Kraal. She usually dances at the Shiselweni regional Umhlanga which is held at the region’s kraal. I wanted to see her dance, but 80,000 girls were registered to dance and she was lost in the sea of color. Nonetheless, it’s an interesting event to witness. Girls of each chiefdom try to distinguish themselves from other chiefdoms by wearing similar regalia and dancing a little differently than the group before them. The girls are honored among the nation, their communities and families. It’s an immense compliment for them, and a memorable experience, I’m told.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Life in July, 2009
July 28, 2009- Quite the Blurry July: I’m not sure how I got to this end of July without writing my blog or letters to people back home. I didn’t feel extremely busy but I was on the go frequently, tying up loose ends, confirming appointments, and meeting famous former volunteers. Here’s a recap of my month:
-At the beginning of the month, I helped a woman in Sibovu, which is the community next to mine, write a CV and apply to an employment agency.
-On July 9th, I was chosen along with 4 other volunteers to meet Chris Matthews and his wife Kathy. Mr. Matthews is a former Peace Corps volunteer in Swaziland; he served from 1968 - 1970. Mr. Matthews is also the host of Hard Ball on MSNBC. Having watched the show in college I was familiar with Matthews, and knew he was a former volunteer while researching Swaziland. He’s been back to Swaziland on several occasions, a few times with his children. He told many stories about Peace Corps ‘back in the day’. It’s nothing like my experience now; however, the problems we face as volunteers in rural communities are more daunting. He talked about training in Louisiana, which sounded more like boot camp than preparing people to serve in Peace Corps. He recalled past trainers, former Ministry members, and community leaders; Matthews’ first community was Nhlangano, which is my shopping town and 20 km from my community. He reminisced about former volunteers, and highs and lows of service. My favorite story was about being dropped off at site after being in country for about a week. Matthews’ boss took him and 2 other volunteers to the nurses’ quarters near the health center. After unloading their meager belongings, his boss said, “Your job is to economically develop the Shiselweni region. Good luck.” Whoa! I feel quite a bit better about my open ended job description; at least I have goals Peace Corps require I meet. The evening was quite lovely; we enjoyed traditional food at a restaurant in the Ezulweni Valley and we shared our difficulties in the battles we must fight in Swaziland. Yet we were able to laugh about and appreciate shared experiences. For Peace Corps volunteers, the connections you make, however small or great are the most beneficial. This connection to Swaziland is one I’m honored to share.
-I continue to tutor the Primary teachers. Currently we are interpreting chapter 8. Its slow going since the content is increasingly difficult to comprehend. However, they are trudging along. And I’m learning a considerable amount about my capability as a ‘teacher’.
-I’ve been seeking first aid kits for the 4 NCP’s (Neighborhood Care Points) in my inkhunhla (my inkhunhla is made up of 7 chiefdoms). NCP’s provide preschool and a meal to children who are orphaned or vulnerable. Two NCP’s asked to help them acquire first aid kits and training. Since April, I pestered Red Cross to provide me with two kits per NCP; they are supposed to provide a kit each year, as well as training. Since April, I’ve gotten the same story; we’re still waiting for funding. I was tired of the broken record. Another volunteer told me she requested kits from World Vision for her Home-Based Caregivers; perhaps I should try that route. World Vision was in my community a few weeks ago so I asked for their assistance. The Regional Coordinator for Shiselweni told me they are required to provide kits to NCP’s each year but haven’t gotten around to it yet. Go figure. I offered to distribute the kits if they brought them to me. Done! They dropped them off last week, and I picked them up today! Such a small but satisfying triumph. My next step is contacting Red Cross to set up training dates; I hope they work with me more willingly.
-Last week PC staff asked me to help with training again. My challenge was to help introduce how to teach Life Skills to the trainees. I taught a Life Skills class at a secondary school near the training center. Then after mentoring a small group of trainees on how to teach Life Skills, I monitored their delivery and teaching techniques. Most were unwilling participants. I remember thinking I wasn’t going to teach either. Yet, when you are struggling to find something to do in your community that is worthwhile, and want to reach a large audience, sometimes teaching is the thing to do.
-I started running again last week after a 3 ½ month hiatus. I wanted to test my foot’s strength, after what I now believe was a stress fracture. I decided to run around the soccer pitch; although it’s slightly uneven dirt and grass track, it’s a much better running surface than the rocky terrain of the road. My legs felt heavy and my foot fatigued quickly but I was able to run two straight half miles. My foot hurt afterwards; quite a bit actually. But I stretched and massaged it well, and the next day I only felt an ache in my legs, the kind one feels after an exercise break. Today I ran a mile straight in 10 minutes and then another ½ mile straight. I feel stronger than last week, which is a great feeling. I just need to work on my breath control, which I seemed to forget, and increase each run by ½ mile to get me where I was 3 months ago. My make is very concerned with the health of my foot, and shook her finger at my foot when I announced I was off for a run. But I promised to slowly ease into a running routine. I’m not sure she was convinced.
-Several Group 5 volunteers and other volunteers we know from other organizations have finished their service, and left over the last few weeks. I will greatly miss Deja Love, who helped with the Shiselweni Region Youth Support Group. I wasn’t as close to other Group 5 volunteers but their mass exodus this month was jolting. It temporarily made me reconsider my service, looking back over the year questioning what I’d accomplished, and if I could make a difference in the coming year. After talking to my girls—Jaclyn and Justine, who live in my region—about keeping each other in check, we pinky swore allegiance to each other and to staying. Thank God for those girls. They are my saving grace, my sanity, and my comic relief.
-At the beginning of the month, I helped a woman in Sibovu, which is the community next to mine, write a CV and apply to an employment agency.
-On July 9th, I was chosen along with 4 other volunteers to meet Chris Matthews and his wife Kathy. Mr. Matthews is a former Peace Corps volunteer in Swaziland; he served from 1968 - 1970. Mr. Matthews is also the host of Hard Ball on MSNBC. Having watched the show in college I was familiar with Matthews, and knew he was a former volunteer while researching Swaziland. He’s been back to Swaziland on several occasions, a few times with his children. He told many stories about Peace Corps ‘back in the day’. It’s nothing like my experience now; however, the problems we face as volunteers in rural communities are more daunting. He talked about training in Louisiana, which sounded more like boot camp than preparing people to serve in Peace Corps. He recalled past trainers, former Ministry members, and community leaders; Matthews’ first community was Nhlangano, which is my shopping town and 20 km from my community. He reminisced about former volunteers, and highs and lows of service. My favorite story was about being dropped off at site after being in country for about a week. Matthews’ boss took him and 2 other volunteers to the nurses’ quarters near the health center. After unloading their meager belongings, his boss said, “Your job is to economically develop the Shiselweni region. Good luck.” Whoa! I feel quite a bit better about my open ended job description; at least I have goals Peace Corps require I meet. The evening was quite lovely; we enjoyed traditional food at a restaurant in the Ezulweni Valley and we shared our difficulties in the battles we must fight in Swaziland. Yet we were able to laugh about and appreciate shared experiences. For Peace Corps volunteers, the connections you make, however small or great are the most beneficial. This connection to Swaziland is one I’m honored to share.
-I continue to tutor the Primary teachers. Currently we are interpreting chapter 8. Its slow going since the content is increasingly difficult to comprehend. However, they are trudging along. And I’m learning a considerable amount about my capability as a ‘teacher’.
-I’ve been seeking first aid kits for the 4 NCP’s (Neighborhood Care Points) in my inkhunhla (my inkhunhla is made up of 7 chiefdoms). NCP’s provide preschool and a meal to children who are orphaned or vulnerable. Two NCP’s asked to help them acquire first aid kits and training. Since April, I pestered Red Cross to provide me with two kits per NCP; they are supposed to provide a kit each year, as well as training. Since April, I’ve gotten the same story; we’re still waiting for funding. I was tired of the broken record. Another volunteer told me she requested kits from World Vision for her Home-Based Caregivers; perhaps I should try that route. World Vision was in my community a few weeks ago so I asked for their assistance. The Regional Coordinator for Shiselweni told me they are required to provide kits to NCP’s each year but haven’t gotten around to it yet. Go figure. I offered to distribute the kits if they brought them to me. Done! They dropped them off last week, and I picked them up today! Such a small but satisfying triumph. My next step is contacting Red Cross to set up training dates; I hope they work with me more willingly.
-Last week PC staff asked me to help with training again. My challenge was to help introduce how to teach Life Skills to the trainees. I taught a Life Skills class at a secondary school near the training center. Then after mentoring a small group of trainees on how to teach Life Skills, I monitored their delivery and teaching techniques. Most were unwilling participants. I remember thinking I wasn’t going to teach either. Yet, when you are struggling to find something to do in your community that is worthwhile, and want to reach a large audience, sometimes teaching is the thing to do.
-I started running again last week after a 3 ½ month hiatus. I wanted to test my foot’s strength, after what I now believe was a stress fracture. I decided to run around the soccer pitch; although it’s slightly uneven dirt and grass track, it’s a much better running surface than the rocky terrain of the road. My legs felt heavy and my foot fatigued quickly but I was able to run two straight half miles. My foot hurt afterwards; quite a bit actually. But I stretched and massaged it well, and the next day I only felt an ache in my legs, the kind one feels after an exercise break. Today I ran a mile straight in 10 minutes and then another ½ mile straight. I feel stronger than last week, which is a great feeling. I just need to work on my breath control, which I seemed to forget, and increase each run by ½ mile to get me where I was 3 months ago. My make is very concerned with the health of my foot, and shook her finger at my foot when I announced I was off for a run. But I promised to slowly ease into a running routine. I’m not sure she was convinced.
-Several Group 5 volunteers and other volunteers we know from other organizations have finished their service, and left over the last few weeks. I will greatly miss Deja Love, who helped with the Shiselweni Region Youth Support Group. I wasn’t as close to other Group 5 volunteers but their mass exodus this month was jolting. It temporarily made me reconsider my service, looking back over the year questioning what I’d accomplished, and if I could make a difference in the coming year. After talking to my girls—Jaclyn and Justine, who live in my region—about keeping each other in check, we pinky swore allegiance to each other and to staying. Thank God for those girls. They are my saving grace, my sanity, and my comic relief.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
My life in June
June 6, 2009- Mid-Service Conference: Monday to Friday my group attended two conferences, one with our counterparts as a way to build capacity and plan activities for the upcoming year. The other session with the Medical Officer dealt with grief and loss. During one of the Grief and Loss sessions, an “assignment” was to draw a picture depicting some aspect of grief or loss we’ve experienced since our arrival. I drew a picture of a lotus flower emerging from a lake alongside the
It takes time to let go of the things that weigh us down. It takes time to emerge from darkness or sadness or disappointment to reveal a renewed, happier self; a self who is not afraid to be. This self no longer wants to hide from the light; she wants to live. A lose of the old self, but a gain of a changed self, one of quality and substance.
The
I experienced a significant transformation shortly before I left for Peace Corps. I’ve experienced several smaller ones since my arrival in
June 7, 2009- Baking Crackers: I made a version of Wheat Thins today. A fellow volunteer told me how good the recipe was so I decided to try them. I made crackers! Who’da though that was possible? Somehow it only seems possible in
June 9-22, 2009- The Gaspers Go to Africa: My mom, dad, and sisters, Sharon and Annette arrived in
They mastered using the pit latrine at night, while holding a flash light and calling off the dogs. My sisters slept in my very springy bed, and my parents slept in a nearby rondovol (round hut) that up until 2 weeks ago held baby chicks. I slept on a sponge on the floor. Everyone eagerly anticipated Friday morning, and our destination,
Tuesday morning we headed back to
My parents celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary next August. They took an adventure to
Side note: Everyone thought my mother was the sweetest and kindest woman they had ever met, that her smile was lovely, and that she looked very young. They thought my sisters were friendly and non-judgmental, that Sharon was the youngest and Annette the oldest b/c of height. They believed my father to be stern and wise, as they thought he was a pastor
June 30, 2009- Frost on the Fields: This morning I woke to find frost on the fields and the grass around my hut. I noticed a light smattering of white all along the ground as I rode the bus to town. The low last night was 2 degrees Celsius; the high yesterday was maybe 12 degrees. That’s pretty cold for
On June 26th, I celebrated my 1 year anniversary. I’ve been here one year, and it seems quite hard to fathom. I helped another volunteer and two PC staff members pick up the new volunteers—Group 7—on the 25th. Meeting them and being at the airport was surreal. I was trying to wrap my head around the fact that I’ve been in country for a year and that it really has gone quickly, as well as wading through the plethora of questions being thrown at me by the excited and nervous newbies. It makes me question, what have I learned in 12 months of PC life and service? Good question. I’ve learned: 1.) Frustrations are the result of expectations; 2.) To have really good friends in my community means I’ve integrated, and if that’s the only thing I accomplish in my time here, then I’ve been successful; 3.) With all honestly, I have 28 PC friends that I truly care about and look forward to spending time with each time I’m in their company; 4.) Swaziland never seizes to amaze me- some people in my community act like they’ve never seen me before, some call me by name; the weather is freezing one day, and balmy the next; my Swazi friends are always happy to see me just because I’m me; the winter landscape is a gorgeous deep burnt red and the summer shows 7 shades of green; 5.) My hut is my home- I hate my pit latrine and I wish I had a real kitchen and bathroom but I feel comfortable in my little hovel; 6.) I know how much I can live without, and I know how to get by with what I have…it’s a nice feeling to not need material things; 7.) I know what I don’t want to live without- the freedom to speak my mind, the freedom to be a woman with equal rights, good healthcare, equal pay…oh and a kitchen and bathroom with running water; 8.) Life is constantly throwing obstacles in my path….do I duck or do I try to catch them? The answer is different each day, and that’s okay; 9.) Love without rules; and 10.) Only by jumping in without restraint can you have the full experience available to you.
It’s taken many long months to learn these valuable lessons, ones I need to learn for my life journey. I came to
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
May happenings
May 20, 2009- Homecoming: Due to my supposed tendonitis, I was required to stay in Mbabane, from April 30 thru today, 20 days. It was, at times maddening. Luckily, many volunteers were in and out of the backpacker lodge where I was ‘residing,’ and the owner of the backpacker lodge is a really inviting, friendly guy. I never wanted for company. Even so, I itched to get back home. Yes, my home. I am able to call it that now. I was ready for my own space, my own bed—even though I can feel the springs—and to see my family, community and friends. With great relief I boarded the bus in Nhlangano that goes passed my site. I recognized many faces and those faces recognized me. Smiles and hellos from bomake and bobabe, shy glances from children. All endearing to my heart. I felt so overwhelmed by a sense of familiarity and homecoming; I began to cry but quickly recovered. How would I explain my swell of emotion, a longing for my community, or a wish to see recognizable faces in my home-away-from-home when I could hardly believe what I was feeling myself? I sat in silence the entire 45 minute bus ride, wondering in amazement at my feelings about home.
The teenagers on my homestead, who usually regard my presence with mild to medium interest, called and waved to me as I entered the gate. Zandele’s smile filled her face; Mcolisi and Machewe cheerfully said welcome home; and Nomdumiso said they were missing me. I replied, very honestly, “I was missing everyone. I am very happy to be home.” As I opened the door to my hut, I sighed with relief. I was home.
It feels good to feel at home in a place so far away and so opposite of my previously held definition of home. Home really is where the heart is. Cliché, yes, I know. But with the exception of my childhood home, I’ve never felt more at home than I feel here.
May 28, 2009- Getting back to Normal: I’m still not back to my regular schedule. I’ve been going to bed earlier than before, around 9pm, and I’m still having trouble getting out of bed by 7am. I happily returned to work at the clinic. But in my absence they seemed to have organized their processes, making them more efficient, leaving me feel like I’m in the way and unsure of what I should be doing. I visited the high school wanting to confirm my after-school career guidance class. I didn’t find the Head Teacher or the Deputy Head Teacher; in fact I found few teachers at all. Only five of my 30 health club students showed to our meeting and the teacher counterpart for the club said she couldn’t attend because she was too busy. Will anything ever really begin?
My successes/accomplishments this week happened at the primary school. I talked to the Deputy Head Teacher about teaching an environmental and current events class next term to the 6th graders I taught last term. She enthusiastically agreed, saying the students need an awareness of the world around them. Hurray! My second success is with the teachers I tutor. They were ready to get back to reading and interpreting their curriculum development in the postmodern era book. The other success happened w/ my Make. She wanted me to teach her to make soap. I contemplated teaching her the lye method, which lasted only a day; I began to think of all the things that could go wrong. Instead I researched places to buy melt-and-pour glycerin-based soap. The closest store is in Jo’burg. After I told her that, she insisted people from here often go to Jo’burg weekly or monthly, and if I give her the list of ingredients she would give them to the next person going that direction. She would also call her son living in Durban and ask him to find it there then send it to her. I tried to explain how expensive that would get, but she said the expense was not important. She told me, God willing, the money would come. To appease her in the meantime, I taught her to make body scrubs, one with ground coffee and the other with sea salts and lavender oil. She was in heaven, especially after trying them. She is selling them this weekend at a trade show in Nhlangano.
Small successes, yes, but those three things helped me feel like I was back to a somewhat normal schedule. I felt some sense of accomplishment for this month. Considering May is ending, and my trimester report for Peace Corps is due June 1st, I wanted to carry out something to ease my conscience.
The teenagers on my homestead, who usually regard my presence with mild to medium interest, called and waved to me as I entered the gate. Zandele’s smile filled her face; Mcolisi and Machewe cheerfully said welcome home; and Nomdumiso said they were missing me. I replied, very honestly, “I was missing everyone. I am very happy to be home.” As I opened the door to my hut, I sighed with relief. I was home.
It feels good to feel at home in a place so far away and so opposite of my previously held definition of home. Home really is where the heart is. Cliché, yes, I know. But with the exception of my childhood home, I’ve never felt more at home than I feel here.
May 28, 2009- Getting back to Normal: I’m still not back to my regular schedule. I’ve been going to bed earlier than before, around 9pm, and I’m still having trouble getting out of bed by 7am. I happily returned to work at the clinic. But in my absence they seemed to have organized their processes, making them more efficient, leaving me feel like I’m in the way and unsure of what I should be doing. I visited the high school wanting to confirm my after-school career guidance class. I didn’t find the Head Teacher or the Deputy Head Teacher; in fact I found few teachers at all. Only five of my 30 health club students showed to our meeting and the teacher counterpart for the club said she couldn’t attend because she was too busy. Will anything ever really begin?
My successes/accomplishments this week happened at the primary school. I talked to the Deputy Head Teacher about teaching an environmental and current events class next term to the 6th graders I taught last term. She enthusiastically agreed, saying the students need an awareness of the world around them. Hurray! My second success is with the teachers I tutor. They were ready to get back to reading and interpreting their curriculum development in the postmodern era book. The other success happened w/ my Make. She wanted me to teach her to make soap. I contemplated teaching her the lye method, which lasted only a day; I began to think of all the things that could go wrong. Instead I researched places to buy melt-and-pour glycerin-based soap. The closest store is in Jo’burg. After I told her that, she insisted people from here often go to Jo’burg weekly or monthly, and if I give her the list of ingredients she would give them to the next person going that direction. She would also call her son living in Durban and ask him to find it there then send it to her. I tried to explain how expensive that would get, but she said the expense was not important. She told me, God willing, the money would come. To appease her in the meantime, I taught her to make body scrubs, one with ground coffee and the other with sea salts and lavender oil. She was in heaven, especially after trying them. She is selling them this weekend at a trade show in Nhlangano.
Small successes, yes, but those three things helped me feel like I was back to a somewhat normal schedule. I felt some sense of accomplishment for this month. Considering May is ending, and my trimester report for Peace Corps is due June 1st, I wanted to carry out something to ease my conscience.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
April pictures
Beginning of our hike
In the valley
The cactus are really large here.
At the pot holes
Victoria, cooling off in the river before the hour and 1/2 walk back up the hill.
Vic and Jenn in the jungle Jenn and Victoria in the remains of a house
Mt. Malalotja
The hike is over.
The cactus are really large here.
At the pot holes
Victoria, cooling off in the river before the hour and 1/2 walk back up the hill.
Vic and Jenn in the jungle Jenn and Victoria in the remains of a house
Mt. Malalotja
The hike is over.
Monday, May 4, 2009
April happenings
March 29 2009- Hiking in Malolotja Nature Reserve: I went hiking through part of Malalotja today with two PC friends, Victoria and Jenn, and the Mbabane Hiking Club, which consists mostly of PC staff and ex-pats working for the gov’t or Baylor or MSF. The nature reserve is basically in Victoria’s backyard, of which I’m slightly envious. The pictures detail our hike, beginning to end....i will add them soon.
April 5, 2009- The Seven Shades of Green: As you can see in the pictures of the hike it’s pretty green and lush here right now. The summer rains really boost vegetation growth and color. The rains begin in November and usually end some time in March or April. This season was unusually wet, but has ended sooner than it usually does. By mid-March it was done, and I was rejoicing. “I guess it rains down in Africa.” Yeah, A LOT!
But it does make everything look beautiful. I never realized until living here how many different colors of green exist in nature. Jade green, light green, olive green, lime green, grass green, pistachio green, emerald green…I saw these shades in America but never so many in one space, at one time. It’s breathtaking. And sadly, it’s ending soon. Fall is fast approaching; the days are cooler, the wind gentler, and the evenings chilly. Soon, the high temperature for the day will be mid-to-high 60’s, and the evenings will be in the 40’s, sometimes even dipping down to 35 degrees C. I won’t miss the hot, stifling days, but I will miss the sea of greens. In winter, from May – July, only the pine trees stay somewhat green. The rest of the landscape is brown and burnt red. But it will be interesting to see how many shades of brown and red appear once the green recedes.
April 7, 2009- Tutoring a Teacher: Phindile, an elementary teacher and member of my exercise group, is taking continuing education classes to get a higher certification for teaching. She’s asked me to help her understand her class this term; last term she missed passing the exam for this class by only a few points. This term she’s determined to pass, and I enthusiastically said I would help. The class is about curriculum development in postmodern era. I read the preface of the book she’s required to read for the course this weekend; I think it will be an interesting course. The author mentions Thich Nhat Hanh’s philosophy and writings as inspirational to his career and in helping form his own beliefs about teaching. He quotes 7 of Nhat Hanh’s 13 precepts on life and living. He quotes Thich Nhat Hanh! This cannot be that bad of a book or a course! I’m really looking forward to tutoring.
Here’s the precept that resonates most with me: Do not live with a vocation that is harmful to humans and nature. Do not invest in companies that deprive others of their chance to live. Select a vocation which helps realize your ideal compassion.
I think I’m on the right track. I hope I’m on the right track.
April 19, 2009- Just a few updates: I spent the first half of Easter weekend with the Shiselweni girls, Jaci, Deja, Alexis and Justine. We cooked meals together, watched music videos, and movies. I took a leisurely bath and painted my toenails. I made scarves for my exercise group, one pink and grey, the other green, grey and yellow. Then I spent Saturday to Monday in Mbabane with my friend Jenn, to keep her company and raise her spirits. She is currently residing in Mbabane, in limbo, but soon moving to a different community because she was assaulted in her first community. We went to House on Fire Saturday night with three other volunteers to see a jazz band from France. They were fantastic, and we had a glorious time dancing to their music and later to the dj’s ethnic mix. Sunday morning we made French toast, and scrambled eggs, and drank mimosas for Easter brunch. In the afternoon Jenn and I took a walk around the Pine Valley neighborhood to see Sibebe Rock and the upper-class houses of Mbabane, and then watched a movie. For supper, at the request of the others, I made gourmet mac and cheese, and we shared the rest of my Shiraz. It was a pleasant day, beautiful weather, good conversation, and great company.
Two weeks ago I announced to my Form 2A’s that I was done teaching them this term if they refused to listen or participate. After giving them an assignment several days prior, I received only seven journal entries back….out of 55 students. I decided I was done with them. I told them it was their choice not to listen or engage in the class, and since that was the case, I would not continue teaching to students unwillingly to learn from me. For those willing to continue the class, I offered them the chance to join the other Form 2 class next term. They were briefly (briefly) shocked, and then spent the rest of the period chatting as if I hadn’t said a word or wasn’t even there. WHATEVER. Toward the end of the class, the Head Teacher (Principle) entered, wondering what was happening. I explained my dilemma to him, as well as the class’s behavior. He offered to address them, and I gladly turned the class over to him. He reprimanded and shamed them for ten minutes, saying he was very disappointed in and embarrassed by them. I don’t think it had an effect on most of them, sadly. But at least I know the Head Teacher supports me and my opinions, even if the Deputy Head Teacher (Vice-Principle) and the other staff do not. I received his permission to teach the career guidance class as an after school program next term, but only to Form 2’s and Form 1’s that are truly interested. Amen! I feel better about the situation, like a weight is off my shoulders. I will have a set schedule for teaching next term, I will teach only to students who really want to be in my class, and I am backed by the Head Teacher.
April 21, 2009- Chilly, rainy day: Today felt like a fall day in the Midwest. The high was 12 degrees C (53.6 F). It rained last night, so this morning was wet and bone chilling. On my way to the siteshi (bus stop) I greeted my Make who was starting a wood fire on the outside cook stove. She asked if I had warm under-things on, especially warm underwear, because today it is kumakhata kakhulu (very cold). I said I was wearing warm clothes. “Good, she said, “I don’t want your uterus to get cold. You don’t want a sickness getting in through your vagina.” WHAT?! I thanked Make for her concern, and reassured her I was wearing warm clothes. Thanks, Make, for being so concerned about the health and wellbeing of my uterus.
April 28, 2009- 10 months in…what have I learned?: Today marks my 10th month here. It’s really hard to believe because it seems like the months since January have flown by rather quickly. So, I think it’s time to relay, and remember for myself, what I’ve learned so far. I present a continuation of ‘What I’ve learned’:
-Expectations are overrated. I didn’t come here with many expectations, or so I thought. But my “I have little expectations for my progress” turned out to be “I really do have expectations about my service and what I want to accomplish.” After careful consideration—over several months time—and taking into account how long progression takes here, I changed my stance. Now I really have no expectations, about any aspect of my service except that I will finish my service. That’s it. And that’s enough.
-Making friends in my community, as well as identifying fellow volunteers who are genuine friends, has saved my sanity and boosted my spirits. I opened myself up when I first arrived, exposing my heart and putting erratic feelings on my sleeve, sooner than I usually do with people because I was hoping to find people to connect to, to feel some semblance of normalcy. I got burned. But I recovered quicker than is typical for me and realized it was okay to feel raw because I remained strong. It didn’t break me. I found people I really want to spend time with; they are real, they are true, they are kindred spirits.
-If am not alone. Being here has made me realize how blessed I am to have so many dear friends and supportive family members who really care about me. I am Nonhlanhla- a lucky girl. I will never really be alone with such wonderful people in my life. But I still REALLY miss everyone dearly…and obsessively! : )
-A favorite Swazi saying is siyahhlula or we are all together. We are all together, interdependent, and connected.
-I want to obtain my teacher certification in yoga. I taught my exercise class a basic sun salutation and a few other basic poses; they took to it, especially the meditation part. I really want to bring people who are new to yoga to the mind-body-spirit benefits of yoga. My first yoga teacher, in Boulder, use to say if more people in the world practiced yoga and received massage on a regular basis there would be less fighting in the world. I want to believe that concept is really possible. It’s my hope.
- When is now a good time? If not now, then when? I’m trying to practice living in the now, in the present. I struggle with being patient because I want to know everything now! But it is coming, little by little. (Another Swazi saying is kancane, kancane, which means slowly, slowly or little by little.) Be in the now, little by little.
April 5, 2009- The Seven Shades of Green: As you can see in the pictures of the hike it’s pretty green and lush here right now. The summer rains really boost vegetation growth and color. The rains begin in November and usually end some time in March or April. This season was unusually wet, but has ended sooner than it usually does. By mid-March it was done, and I was rejoicing. “I guess it rains down in Africa.” Yeah, A LOT!
But it does make everything look beautiful. I never realized until living here how many different colors of green exist in nature. Jade green, light green, olive green, lime green, grass green, pistachio green, emerald green…I saw these shades in America but never so many in one space, at one time. It’s breathtaking. And sadly, it’s ending soon. Fall is fast approaching; the days are cooler, the wind gentler, and the evenings chilly. Soon, the high temperature for the day will be mid-to-high 60’s, and the evenings will be in the 40’s, sometimes even dipping down to 35 degrees C. I won’t miss the hot, stifling days, but I will miss the sea of greens. In winter, from May – July, only the pine trees stay somewhat green. The rest of the landscape is brown and burnt red. But it will be interesting to see how many shades of brown and red appear once the green recedes.
April 7, 2009- Tutoring a Teacher: Phindile, an elementary teacher and member of my exercise group, is taking continuing education classes to get a higher certification for teaching. She’s asked me to help her understand her class this term; last term she missed passing the exam for this class by only a few points. This term she’s determined to pass, and I enthusiastically said I would help. The class is about curriculum development in postmodern era. I read the preface of the book she’s required to read for the course this weekend; I think it will be an interesting course. The author mentions Thich Nhat Hanh’s philosophy and writings as inspirational to his career and in helping form his own beliefs about teaching. He quotes 7 of Nhat Hanh’s 13 precepts on life and living. He quotes Thich Nhat Hanh! This cannot be that bad of a book or a course! I’m really looking forward to tutoring.
Here’s the precept that resonates most with me: Do not live with a vocation that is harmful to humans and nature. Do not invest in companies that deprive others of their chance to live. Select a vocation which helps realize your ideal compassion.
I think I’m on the right track. I hope I’m on the right track.
April 19, 2009- Just a few updates: I spent the first half of Easter weekend with the Shiselweni girls, Jaci, Deja, Alexis and Justine. We cooked meals together, watched music videos, and movies. I took a leisurely bath and painted my toenails. I made scarves for my exercise group, one pink and grey, the other green, grey and yellow. Then I spent Saturday to Monday in Mbabane with my friend Jenn, to keep her company and raise her spirits. She is currently residing in Mbabane, in limbo, but soon moving to a different community because she was assaulted in her first community. We went to House on Fire Saturday night with three other volunteers to see a jazz band from France. They were fantastic, and we had a glorious time dancing to their music and later to the dj’s ethnic mix. Sunday morning we made French toast, and scrambled eggs, and drank mimosas for Easter brunch. In the afternoon Jenn and I took a walk around the Pine Valley neighborhood to see Sibebe Rock and the upper-class houses of Mbabane, and then watched a movie. For supper, at the request of the others, I made gourmet mac and cheese, and we shared the rest of my Shiraz. It was a pleasant day, beautiful weather, good conversation, and great company.
Two weeks ago I announced to my Form 2A’s that I was done teaching them this term if they refused to listen or participate. After giving them an assignment several days prior, I received only seven journal entries back….out of 55 students. I decided I was done with them. I told them it was their choice not to listen or engage in the class, and since that was the case, I would not continue teaching to students unwillingly to learn from me. For those willing to continue the class, I offered them the chance to join the other Form 2 class next term. They were briefly (briefly) shocked, and then spent the rest of the period chatting as if I hadn’t said a word or wasn’t even there. WHATEVER. Toward the end of the class, the Head Teacher (Principle) entered, wondering what was happening. I explained my dilemma to him, as well as the class’s behavior. He offered to address them, and I gladly turned the class over to him. He reprimanded and shamed them for ten minutes, saying he was very disappointed in and embarrassed by them. I don’t think it had an effect on most of them, sadly. But at least I know the Head Teacher supports me and my opinions, even if the Deputy Head Teacher (Vice-Principle) and the other staff do not. I received his permission to teach the career guidance class as an after school program next term, but only to Form 2’s and Form 1’s that are truly interested. Amen! I feel better about the situation, like a weight is off my shoulders. I will have a set schedule for teaching next term, I will teach only to students who really want to be in my class, and I am backed by the Head Teacher.
April 21, 2009- Chilly, rainy day: Today felt like a fall day in the Midwest. The high was 12 degrees C (53.6 F). It rained last night, so this morning was wet and bone chilling. On my way to the siteshi (bus stop) I greeted my Make who was starting a wood fire on the outside cook stove. She asked if I had warm under-things on, especially warm underwear, because today it is kumakhata kakhulu (very cold). I said I was wearing warm clothes. “Good, she said, “I don’t want your uterus to get cold. You don’t want a sickness getting in through your vagina.” WHAT?! I thanked Make for her concern, and reassured her I was wearing warm clothes. Thanks, Make, for being so concerned about the health and wellbeing of my uterus.
April 28, 2009- 10 months in…what have I learned?: Today marks my 10th month here. It’s really hard to believe because it seems like the months since January have flown by rather quickly. So, I think it’s time to relay, and remember for myself, what I’ve learned so far. I present a continuation of ‘What I’ve learned’:
-Expectations are overrated. I didn’t come here with many expectations, or so I thought. But my “I have little expectations for my progress” turned out to be “I really do have expectations about my service and what I want to accomplish.” After careful consideration—over several months time—and taking into account how long progression takes here, I changed my stance. Now I really have no expectations, about any aspect of my service except that I will finish my service. That’s it. And that’s enough.
-Making friends in my community, as well as identifying fellow volunteers who are genuine friends, has saved my sanity and boosted my spirits. I opened myself up when I first arrived, exposing my heart and putting erratic feelings on my sleeve, sooner than I usually do with people because I was hoping to find people to connect to, to feel some semblance of normalcy. I got burned. But I recovered quicker than is typical for me and realized it was okay to feel raw because I remained strong. It didn’t break me. I found people I really want to spend time with; they are real, they are true, they are kindred spirits.
-If am not alone. Being here has made me realize how blessed I am to have so many dear friends and supportive family members who really care about me. I am Nonhlanhla- a lucky girl. I will never really be alone with such wonderful people in my life. But I still REALLY miss everyone dearly…and obsessively! : )
-A favorite Swazi saying is siyahhlula or we are all together. We are all together, interdependent, and connected.
-I want to obtain my teacher certification in yoga. I taught my exercise class a basic sun salutation and a few other basic poses; they took to it, especially the meditation part. I really want to bring people who are new to yoga to the mind-body-spirit benefits of yoga. My first yoga teacher, in Boulder, use to say if more people in the world practiced yoga and received massage on a regular basis there would be less fighting in the world. I want to believe that concept is really possible. It’s my hope.
- When is now a good time? If not now, then when? I’m trying to practice living in the now, in the present. I struggle with being patient because I want to know everything now! But it is coming, little by little. (Another Swazi saying is kancane, kancane, which means slowly, slowly or little by little.) Be in the now, little by little.
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