Wednesday, August 13, 2008

August posts

August 9, 2008- “OJT”, a little language lesson & election update: OJT stands for On-the-Job Training- 5 days in which to locate my permanent site, meet my counterpart aka Kagogo (ga go go) Clerk, get to know my family and visit the points of interest in my new town- Mahlalini (ma thla lean e). I think I will like my new site. My counterparts says the chief of Mahlalini use to be a senator, that he is in many ways a modernized chief, and he is very interested in developing the area. My counterpart, Mkhasibe (mm ka see bay), seems pretty motivated; although, he is new to the position. The record-keeping done by the previous clerk left little to be desired and he wants alotta help organizing it. No problem. The Kagogo Clerk is a paid position by NERCHA. When I say paid, I mean meager wages. NERCHA is an organization dedicated to education and prevention on HIV and AIDS-related issues. I cannot remember what the acronym stands for; however, it is a Swazi national organization which tries to employ the most highly motivated individuals of each chiefdom in Swaziland who are interested in helping decrease the spread of HIV and AIDS. There are 91 chiefdoms in the Shiselweni region- the region I will serve. The KaGogo Clerk organized people in the chiefdom to work with- Rural Health Motivators and Peer Educators. There are are 70,000 OVC’s in Swaziland; NERCHA estimates the number will be 120,000 by 2010. The term kagogo originates from the Swazi word, gogo for grandmother. In Swazi culture the first hut built is called kaGogo, which is where family members meet and make important family decisions. These centers support community services for HIV and AIDS by providing opportunity and maintaining a space for holistic support to the community’s response on HIV and AIDS issues. There is space for meetings, food storage and catering, provision of basic care, education and counseling. The mandate from NERCHA for the KaGogo Centers is to serve as an entry point for all HIV and AIDS interventions in rural communities. I will be working one-on-one w/ the KaGogo Clerk to identify other possible income-generating projects, identify the real issues in Mahlalini and what to do about these issues, and help him maintain data on OVC’s.

My new place: The view from my new house is beautiful- mountains! There are mountains in my backyard! This area is considered mid-veld- cooler winters, and summers that don’t get hotter than 25 to 26 degrees C…. or so my new bhuti tells me. I’m not very good w/ the conversion from Celsius to Fahrenheit, but I think it’ll be around 85 degrees (please correct me if I’m wrong). I can handle that! My new place is not ready yet. They just repainted the walls, hung a new door and replaced the burglar bars. I brought a sleeping bag, assuming I’d sleep on the floor the next 4 nights but my new make (ma gay) aka mother insisted I sleep in a spare room. Fine with me. The floor of my new place is cement; considering it still gets pretty chilly here at night and my sleeping back is only rated to 20 degrees, a double bed off the floor sounds glorious.

My make is 60, has 7 living children- 2 have died- with many grandchildren, is a Rural Health Motivator- something very similar to a Hospice volunteer, and hosts 4 OVC’s or Orphans and Vulnerable Children. Philiswa is 7, Zanele is 13 I think, Machewe is 16, I think and Mcolisi is 19. They are very sweet and I already feel comfortable with them. Make believes the boys are too lazy, but I believe it is typical teenage behavior, unfortunately. She does keep them on their toes and expects allota work from them. But I think it is good for them. She is giving them a chance for a life- she helps pay their school fees and provides food for them to cook. That is a lot considering they are not blood related AND she is not in the best health. Make’s babe (ba bay) aka husband is staying in the Lubombo region, several hours away and only visits a few times a year. He is farming…I’m assuming sugar cane or maize. She is rarely able to visit b/c of the expense to travel there. On Monday fares will go up due to rising petrol costs. The trip from Nhlangano (nn thlan gano) to Mahlalini cost me R6.50 today; Wednesday when I travel back to my host family, the fare will be R10. For every 1 US dollar I get 6 to 7 Rand (South African currency) or 6 to 7 Emilangeni (Swaziland currency) - both are usually interchangeable. If I think about bus fare in terms of US dollars, I’m paying less than a dollar. But right now I’m living on about $30/week; once I’m done w/ training I’ll be living on $70/week. So if I travel to the nearest large town at R10 too often, I’ll deplete my allowance quickly. Plus I cannot think of my allowance in terms of dollars; I will spend too much money that way! Bread at the town markets costs R5.99. A bag of apples (12) is R13.99. Soy milk is R12.99. Cereal- just the basic Corn Flakes- is R23.99. The price of food is going up, b/c of the rising transportation costs. I’m curious what gas costs in the states. And I’m curious to see how much transportation will go up here by the time I leave.

Elections- well I received clarification from my host family on elections. The King dissolves Parliament every 5 years- everyone serves a 5 year term and then if they want to be re-elected must run for office and be voted back in. During campaign time, anyone may run for election to an office. The Prime Minister is generally appointed by the King after elections are held. Those being murdered are directly involved w/ running for elections. They are not at all concerned w/ the whities (mhlolope) right now!

August 11, 2008- I’m suffering from multiple personalities: Peace Corps staff asks our Pre-Service Training (PST) host family to give us a Swazi name when we arrive at our new homestead. So I’ve been Nonhlanhla Mavimbela since July…I’m not even going to try a language lesson w/ this one. You’ll have to hear it sometime. When I heard my new name, I thought, “Great! The “hl” sound is the hardest for me to pronounce, and I have 2 in my name. Damn!” Well, now I can pronounce the “hl” sound well. Before OJT, we were told we might get a new first name from our permanent host family. I was expecting a new surname, but I thought I’d might be able to keep Nonhlanhla b/c I like the mean- lucky. My PST family says Nonhlanhla, then lucky girl. I like that. I’m a lucky girl. So, when I asked my counterpart if I had a new name, he said no; I could use Jennifer or Nonhlanhla. Nope! My new make insisted on naming me. So now I am Thadeka (taun day ga) Bhembe (bem bay). I don’t mind b/c I like the meaning of Thadeka- the loveable one. However, it’s taken some getting use to; I don’t always recognize my name when someone is calling me. Of course, they laugh at that! If I were to go by Jennifer, I would just get called Jennifer Lopez and constantly asked if I know her. “I know who she is, but I do not know her personally” is usually met w/ a blank stare. Don’t all Americans w/ the same first name or surname know each other? Ummmm…..no. It’s taken some getting use to, this multiple identity thing…or should I say crisis? It feels like a crisis, a predicament. There definitely is a loss of identity, autonomy, anonymity in Peace Corps, at least as far as we define those words in America. I’m not thrilled about it; it’s a bit harder to be myself. I’m told I must respectfully represent a government organization. I’m told I must respectfully represent America. I must represent the notion of white person without money, who is a volunteer but just picks up, leaves my family, crosses an ocean, and lives in a new place and not for education/college, mind you. Why would I leave America, they always ask. Why do I want to help strangers? And why in God’s name would I leave my family? Well I wanted to offer my services, my knowledge, myself b/c I’ve been given so much. I want to doing something for others b/c I can, to give back to something bigger than myself. Huh?! I’ve been living on my own for 10 years. How? They always ask. By yourself? Yes. They shake their heads. And a grown woman, not married, no children. Living on her own. How?

Where do I fall into all of that? Who will I be here? Who will I become? I’m not sure. I’m still mulling it over b/c I’m still wondering why I’m here. So much of the HIV epidemic is tied into Swazi culture. This is a patriarchal, polygamist culture. If your husband/boyfriend says jump, you jump. If you are dating and want to use condoms, he questions your integrity and faithfulness. If he says he won’t get tested, she cannot talk him into it. If he forbids her to go to the clinic for testing, support or education, she cannot go. If she does and he finds out, she risks being kicked off the homestead and out of the family forever. She will be forced to leave her children behind. She will leave behind any meager possessions she might have acquired. She leaves behind security, a roof over her head, and food. She is left w/ poverty, homelessness- her family will not take her back b/c of shame, and generally no nope for income b/c of lack of education.

So some days, often every day, I vacillate between dreams of doing good work and dreams of my old/new life; the vacations I will take once I’m done w/ service and the majestic regions of Swaziland I will explore while serving; the foundation I’ll lay for future PCV’s and the foundations I’d rather be laying for myself. It is a conundrum, but it is what it is. And that’s all the insight I have right now.

July posts

July 18th-A little about the weather and the food I eat: I have eaten some of the best avocados (likotapeni) here that I’ve ever tasted. They are a native fruit. So are mango and papaya but I haven’t had those yet; they are considered summer fruits. It is winter right now; winter lasts all June and July. Spring starts the end of July and runs thru the end of August. It can get pretty chilly at night during the winter season, especially if the wind blows. And does it blow. I would say the coldest night here was 40 degrees; mild by Midwest standards, but huts do not have insulation. So the heat they trap during the day leaves as soon as the sun goes down. Winter produce—at bomake (many mothers) markets—includes: avocado (which are actually yr-round), winter or bitter spinach, butternut squash, sweet potatoes, potatoes (lizambane), pumpkin (litsanga), cabbage (liklabishi), white onion (anyanisi), beets, tomatoes (litamatisi), lemons (lemane/lilamula), oranges (li-olintji), winter watermelon (lihwabha) and apples (lihhabhula). Sorry Rebecca, no exotic produce yet! It’s pretty normal to what I’m use to eating so far. There are some other interesting foods I’ve eaten that aren’t really worth ”writing home about” but I really should share w/ you their traditional foods. On Wednesday, our LCF’s (language and cultural facilitators) or teachers, taught us to make traditional Swazi food, which includes: liphalishi (maize meal, which doesn’t taste bad. I actually like it but it doesn’t have much nutritional value other than to fill the belly…and that much corn is hard for my body to process. They eat it a variety of ways: very thick w/ baked beans, onions and tomatoes; very thick w/ starchy water aka sugar water; or watered down w/ sour milk- emasi); corn bread (made by grating fresh corn, mixing w/ it maize flour and sugar then steaming in corn husks in a dutch oven—yum ; bitter spinach in peanut sauce w/ tomatoes, onions and green peppers (traditionally you chop peanuts and boil them down to butter, add the spinach then heat through. They have modernized it by using peanut butter and adding other veggies); winter watermelon (cut into to cubes, cooked down, then add maize meal and sugar, whip until thickened); and finally tripe aka stomach and small intestines of cattle, pigs or goats &/or a combo of all. I tried everything else, but could not muster enough will power or courage to try tripe. The smell of it cooking was enough. Surprisingly, it is a delicacy, eaten mostly by rural communities for special occasions. Meat, of any kind, is a treat. Guests are offered the best pieces and the largest portions. Luckily I have not been offered anything that I can’t stomach. Two other volunteers have told stories about eating chicken foot soup and ox tail. Seriously.

I got my gas stove last weekend, so I’ve been cooking for myself since. It’s really nice to control portion sizes as well as the type of food I choose to ingest. Honestly, I haven’t eaten anything to terrible. Sour porridge is not my favorite and I snuck sugar to put on top of it the 2nd time I ate it…but I’m not a very picky eater so I’m getting along better than others. The only problem I have w/ the diet is that it’s corn-based, and it hasn’t been great on my digestive system.

That same day, we split up into groups of 4 to make some of our favorite American foods or food we were craving to share w/ the Swazi PC staff. My group made Peanut Sautee, greens w/ veggies for salad and apple crisp. I brought leftover apple crisp to my family. It was only a little so they all shared a small bite. My make dished it out and b/c she liked it so much, horded the rest. She asked me to make it again; I said I would make a large batch soon. She also asked me if I knew how to make cake. She’s never eaten homemade cake. They have cake in bakeries/grocery stores here but they aren’t great. So I promised to make a cake too…chocolate w/ chocolate icing. Yum. They continually give me a hard time about how little I eat. My make said if I bake for them all the time, then I will get fat. I said I don’t want to get fat! But it is a sign of wealth, and a sign that your family is taking care of you, and that you are healthy, so I’m sure they’d be really happy to see me fattening up. Apparently female volunteers generally gain 10 -15 lbs b/c they have a harder time metabolizing the food than male volunteers, who generally lose weight. Well, I’m working really hard for that to NOT happen. Hence, one of the other reasons I’m glad I’m cooking for myself.

Sleeping w/ the dogs….and spiders….and cockroaches. There are 2 dogs (tinja) on my homestead. Every homestead has a least one dog. In Swaziland dogs are used to guard the homestead, barking ferociously when strangers enter the yard. We also have 2 cats (ema-kati). In Swaziland, a cat’s main function is to catch rodents. Dogs and cats are not pets, thus are not treated very well. Children especially will kick and beat dogs b/c they think it’s funny; breaks my heart a little. Anyway every homestead has dogs, and they bark constantly at night. They bark at each other; they bark at neighborhood dogs; they bark at the freely roaming cattle; they bark at pretty much anything that moves. And they usually bark all night. Well, the chickens and roasters cannot be outdone. Even though they crow continually throughout the day, their main crowing time is 3 am. My hut is directly across from the roast. The roasters crow to hear themselves crow; they crow to compete w/ other roasters on the homestead; they crow to complain at neighboring roasters. They just crow at anything. See a theme developing? Current volunteers have told me that you eventually get use to the barking dogs and crowing roasters and sleep through their competitions. Unfortunately, I have not gotten use to them. I generally wake at 3:30 am, listen to the competition for half an hour, and then will myself to sleep. But b/w 3:30 and 5 am, I mostly toss and turn and lucid dream of chickens crowing and dogs barking. My alarm goes off just as I’m drifting back to sleep, around 6:30 am. Considering I go to bed b/w 9 and 9:30, I would think that I’d be getting enough sleep. But since I haven’t had a full night’s sleep in a month, I think I’m just making up sleep each night for the previous night. So all that considered, it’s amazing that I get my arse outta bed at 6:30/6:45 am, and make it outta the door at 7:45 to get myself to school (escolweni) by 8am. But I do! Take into consideration that I run to a pit latrine each morning, boil water to wash my face and hands, make my bed, get dressed, make breakfast (and sometimes tea or coffee), and remember to turn of the gas tank to my stove before locking the door. Then I search the homestead, looking for my make and gogo to greet them w/ the proper morning salutations and niceties…yes I actually form sentences before 10 am! Then I meet Margaret, the closest volunteer (livoluntiya) to me at my gate and walk 10 minutes to meet my language class for school. For those who don’t know me well, this is a major accomplishment for someone who’s NOT a morning person.

Oh, and the spiders! One night last week I found a brown spider in my room the size of a half dollar. I had to think about killing it for 10 minutes. It was near the corner-where two walls meet, and I didn’t want to miss hitting it when I smacked it w/ my flats. After killing the ginormous thing, I went to the kitchen hut to ask my make if Swaziland had poisonous spiders. She laughed at me, as did everyone in the kitchen hut when I explained I had a VERY large spider in my hut. She asked me to show her the spider; she would kill it for me. I told her I killed it but wanted to make sure there were not poisonous spiders living in this country. She said no, but wanted to see it anyway. After inspecting it, she said it was not dangerous. It was just visiting my hut b/c it was curious about me. Oh hells no! No thanks to uninvited guests. Since then, I’ve only seen daddy long legs, and those don’t bother me.

July 20th- Catholic Church and Chocolate Cake: Swaziland is a very religious country. It is predominately Christian mixed w/ traditional beliefs/customs. My family belongs to the Zionist church….not the sect that is known for out of body experiences, speaking in tongues or hair pulling at their services. Their sect is a step down from that, luckily. However, they do lots of chanting, praying for their sins out loud, and asking out loud for intensions to be answered. Since my siSwati is bad I did not understand them and I said my prayers silently. That was 2 weeks ago. Last week I pretended I had to work on a project w/ fellow volunteers. I just didn’t feel comfortable going to their church again. Today I went w/ 3 other volunteers to the Catholic Church—Sacred Heart—in Nhlangano. Even though most of the mass was in siSwati (a few of the reading and the homily were in English) I still felt like I knew what was going on. You can attend a Catholic mass anywhere and follow along no matter the language. So it was nice to feel the familiar. And I think that was the main reason I went. I wanted something to feel familiar. When people ask me what religion I am, I usually say I’m a recovering Catholic or a holiday Catholic. But today at church, whether it was the familiar or the feeling of community, I was happy to be there. For the first time, in a long time, I wanted to be there and it felt okay to be there. Maybe not right, but okay. I thought about that during part of the homily that was in siSwati and I had to laugh at myself…have I come to Swaziland to find my faith and re-ignite my spirituality? I don’t know. Next week I plan to try the non-denominational church.

When I got home, I decided to make the chocolate cake my family requested a few days ago. It is very different baking a cake in a wood-burning stove. The top burnt before the middle was done. But it turned out okay…I just cut off the burnt parts and covered it w/ lots of frosting. We are eating it after supper. I’m excited! I feel like I haven’t baked in forever. Can’t wait to make bread!!!! But that will have to wait until I get to my permanent site. I don’t have the space to do it here.

Well the cake was a hit. The children loved it. My gogo said I must never return to America, but stay in Swaziland and bake every day for them. My make said she would eat her fingers, the cake was so good. And she horded that last 3 pieces. It was pretty tasty, I must say. But they want me to make it again, only LOTS more next time. But it’s not cheap to buy ingredients, which I tried to explain. Because I am from America, everyone automatically assumes I have money. I tried to explain that the only money I have here is the money Peace Corps gives me. But it does not make sense to them b/c they see all the nice things I brought with me. I explain that some things are gifts, and those other items I had to save money for a long time in order to buy. But it is still lost in translation, and in their preconceived notions of Americans. One day last week I talked about poverty in America w/ my make and one of my bhuti’s. I said some people lived on the streets, some people use cardboard to cover themselves at night, some people don’t eat anything except trash for days. And they had heard of that kind of poverty but it is foreign to them. They live in poverty daily; a different kind of poverty but poverty nonetheless, and the difference is everyone here is poor. And to them, America is only a land of wealth, endless opportunities, and material goods, of famous people who have lavish furnishings, and many modes of transportation. For perspective…any time someone hears that my American name is Jennifer, they ask me if I know Jennifer Lopez. In Swaziland, if you meet someone who has the same first name or surname as you, the two of you are forever friends, forever family, and must help the other any time they have a need or problem. Most people are disappointed when I say I know who Jennifer Lopez is, but I do not personally know her.